The Global Voyage – Navigating My Identity
For as long as I could remember, I knew that I was a Samoan. My parents were both of Samoan background, I understood Samoan well, I communicated with my grandmother in the Samoan language, I attended a Samoan church, I ate Samoan foods and I danced the traditional Samoan dance. I was confident in doing all these things before the age of 5.
Fundraiser Performance, Dressed as taupou at EFKS Fairfield, 1999
And then… once I entered primary school, I had soon realised that my life was not as simple and straightforward as I had originally thought. My fellow Samoan peers would openly point out the colour of my white skin and I was regularly called a “Palagi” which is the Samoan term for Anglo-Saxon. When people would read out my name, they would also find it hard to believe that I was Samoan with an English last name like “Parker”. As the years went by, I struggled further with my identity. It was one thing not to look or sound the part, I was also further alienated due to not fitting into the ”Pasefika – Western Sydney stereotype”. I couldn’t sing and I was and am still terrible at sports. It was hard enough to even have people accept me having Samoan blood running through my veins – and then to not be the way society expects me to be was also another battle in itself.
During my early teenage years, these experiences of feeling constantly rejected and alienated really started to take a toll on how I viewed myself. As a young child being raised by my non-English speaking grandmother, I honestly did not know any other life. However, I did begin to question so many things about my existence, such as why do I look so different? Why do I have an English last name? This led me on a journey of self-discovery.
Chief Ceremony at Fasito’otai, Upolu Samoa 2022
I began completing research on my family history. Which led me to finding out a lot of interesting information not only about my family, but also about significant historical events that occurred within the Samoan society. Up until that point in my life, I knew myself as a New Zealand born Samoan who was raised in Sydney Australia. However, upon completing my research I soon found out that I was the descendant of an American plantation owner, a British businessman, a Chinese indentured labourer as well as a member of the US Military. All these individuals had made their way to Samoa for all different reasons during the colonial period. What a blessing it is for me to be here today, to learn of their stories – their successes and struggles and to be able to be the teller of these tales.
Paternal Great Grandfather – David Stout Parker Senior from New Jersey USA
Soon after, I had begun to realise that there are many other young people within the Pacific diaspora that do struggle with identity. Growing up away from your motherland, away from culture and away from that sense of home can cause a great sense of displacement for anybody. It also can be triggering when going back home and seeking that sense of connection, to also sometimes feel that you do not belong there either. I would highly advise our youth who are struggling with their identity to engage in research, take a trip back to the islands, take a cultural dance/language lesson and try your best in practicing cultural values such as serving within your own local community. Everyone has their own journey of self-discovery so take it at your own pace, as you will never know what is to be discovered on the way.
Performance at PACFEST 2017 at Liverpool Whitlam Centre – Matavai Pacific Cultural Arts
Written by Rosaline Parker - PAYA Regional Coordinator for Australia and New Zealand
